Recent Challenges with ADHD

Alright, well, I hesitate even writing about this because chances are I’m going to appear whiney, complain-y and like a martyr especially because I just complained about all the lame people at the mall….but in an attempt to remain authentic I thought I’d post it.  Almost all of my posts here are about how awesome the lucyshouse family is… because, well, we are actually… but that doesn’t mean we have our challenges. 

I’ve written about it before, and I think have talked mainly about the diet and issues like that… but Jr was diagnosed with ADHD last year.  We figured the diagnoses was coming after all of his issues in school starting immediately in preschool.  I think he’s pretty much your average, typical ADHD kid.  His main issues are impulse control (meaning he doesn’t think through to the consequences of his behavior) and focus (can’t seem to sit through getting his work done, especially with distractions at school).  Fortunately he doesn’t have anger issues, which I’m relieved about, but he does have a hard time managing his emotions at times.  If that makes sense.

I’ve been hesitantly hopeful about this year because we started a new school in an entirely new school system.  They seem to have their s&#* together here in Texas education-wise… and I thought (think) it could be a great thing for Jr since he does have special needs.  He started second grade just last Monday and everything was going great.  He was very positive all week and really loves his new school and has already made friends (which is awesome!)  I had talked to his teacher during the week about something, I don’t remember what, and she sounded very positive and said what a sweet boy he is. All of that positive talk had me thinking that maybe the way they have things set up here is going to really make a difference for him!

Well, I’m sure you saw this coming, but I got a call from his teacher today.  Big shock,  Jr is having a hard time in class.  Not only today, but all last week too. His teacher is really very nice, very experienced and has a great personality;  She has a sweetness and patience that his prior teachers have never had and I am very thankful for that.  She explained some of the things that have been going on and my heart just sank.  It’s all the same stuff.  The same issues we’ve been dealing with for 2+ years.  Not keeping his hands to himself, drawing on his classmates shirts, being unruly during bathroom breaks, etc.

I don’t know why, maybe because the summers are always so great but it just threw me for a loop, again, even though I was still considering myself “hesitant” about the schoolyear.

It totally makes sense that with ADHD the school setting isn’t going to “fix” anything… and that those are his issues so it’s not like they’re just going to disappear.  THOSE are the issues he’ll always need help in managing and dealing with.  (I guess I should just be happy new ones didn’t crop up.)  But while I understand it, THAT’S the part that really bums me out.  We’ve worked so incredibly hard with him the last 2 years… the last year especially about those issues.  And the new school year starts with a fresh start and… he starts right back up again. IMMEDIATELY.  I want to just shake him and yell, “Why are you not getting this?!”  And then I try to remember that that’s what makes it a disorder.  It’s not just an annoying personality trait – he’s actually cognitively limited in those areas.  All we can do is continue what we’re doing:  Stay consisitent, work with the school/teacher, set boundaries, create rewards systems.  Beyond that, what can I do for him while he’s at school?!  It’s completely beyond my control.

I think what’s hardest for me about it all is he is the sweetest and smartest kid I know. Anyone who really knows Jr, loves him!  He loves his mom and family with all his heart.  He is interested in boring Space shows about Black Holes because they’re “very interesting”.  (Seriously super boring ones!)  He loves to cuddle and watch cartoons.  He can build amazing Lego Star Wars ships. He can truly make me laugh with a joke – not just a polite Mommy-Pity Laugh.  But no matter how amazing, smart, funny he is to us, to everyone else around us he’ll be “that kid”.  The kid that causes all the trouble.  The kid that all the other parents will roll their eyes about and want to keep their kids away from because he’s getting their kids into trouble!  And it seems like no matter what we do he’s just not understanding what we desperately want him to understand – and for his own good!

We’ve always said that medication will be a last straw and I’m feeling like we’re winding down to that last straw soon.  I HATE HATE HATE the thought of it because they are incredibly strong drugs for such a small child, but I honestly don’t know what else to do for him.   And then I read up about ritalin and drugs like it and am reminded why it’s not such an easy decision when it’s your precious child.

We’re on the Feingold Diet (which defintely helps in some areas), we’ve talked and talked and reminded and reminded about behaviors, we’ve punished, we’ve rewarded, we’ve tried fish oil and other natural vitamins, we’ve prayed for him and with him.  Right now we’re trying L-theanine and are waiting for a few weeks to see if there are positive results and are looking for a counselor to help with behavior modifications.  And I always said I would homeschool before putting him in medication.  He actually is a very well adjusted boy who can learn… he just has a harder time in the typical school setting than other kids.

Can you see why I’m overwhelmed?  The school year just brings about a lot of ongoing frustrations as well as brings back around many big questions… most of which I feel completely unprepared and unable to answer.

Just be praying for for Jr.  Be praying for us for guidance.  Be praying for his teacher and the school. And I guess just thank you for listening and for loving our little guy.