High School Humiliation Week
Anne and May are having a High School Humiliation Week contest in honor of their new book A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS. One way to be entered into the contest is to write an embarrasing story about high school. I figured that should be easy enough for me. I mean, when was I NOT feeling humiliation during high school? The hardest part was picking the best out of hundreds of humiliating moments.
Should I write about the time I walked dead-on, full force into a pole while leaving a building? Or….
Maybe the time I was talking with this boy I liked and it became clear that he had absolutely no clue who I was. He asked, ”Oh, have we met? Where do you go to school?” ”Uh, Marcos.” ”Really? I’ve never seen you there before.” Perfect. Or….
Maybe the time I was in the computer lab typing away and had the hiccups. I was talking to my friend and hiccuped at the same time so it sounded like I let out a extremely massive, extremely inappropriate belch. It went something like this, “I think maybe it needs to be double spaAAAAAACED!” I never felt like such a lady. (line up, boys) Or…
Maybe the time when I called my older, cool college friend, Steve, and begged tactfully asked him to go to Sr. Prom with me since no one had asked me and I was scrambling to be able to go to Prom. He, of course, said he was tied up with some “frat event” he had to do, but I’m sure he meant he possibly, maybe, potentially had a slim chance of going to Subway with his buddy that same night. (I went to Ed Debevic’s that night with my sister-in-law who took pity on me and got me out of the house so I wouldn’t sit around and mope. We took pictures in their Photo Booth so I could always remember my “Prom”. LOL Is she sweet or what?) Or…
Maybe when my sister and her friend were walking and I came up in the middle of their conversation and someone complained of a papercut and stated, “Ugh! I just wish I had a Band-Aid!” ”I have one!”, I declared, and promptly pulled out this random Band-Aid from my backpack. I didn’t think about how totally uncool and lame I would look until I raised my head from looking into the backpack and they looked back at me like, “O.M.G.” Nerd Alert!
But no, I think any major humiliation moment for girls needs to include one thing: Panties.
So I started walking with a friend of mine, LouAnn, after the bell rang and Algebra let out. I was wearing my favorite dress at the time, a navy blue knee length number with a scoop neck and creme flowers printed on it. It was actually pretty cute and I wish I had a picture of it, but all my high school pictures are strategically hidden tenderly placed in the garage somewhere where you’ll never find them. Well, my friend and I walked the length of this LOOOONG hallway and were chatting away minding our own business. We went to turn the corner and then we heard, “HEY!!! GIRL!!! YOU HAVE YOUR DRESS UP YOUR A–!!!!” It was loud and startling so everyone in the hallway stopped. We stopped. Everyone looked around. Everyone looked at me. I looked down. Holy. Crap. I was the offender. My face immediately turned bright red and I broke into a sweat. My dress was indeed up my a–. And everyone was looking at me. I quickly pulled it down. I snapped my head back up to look at LouAnn who looked as equally shocked as me and then we both burst out laughing. I had thrown my backpack over my shoulder, which apparently caught the bottom of the dress, which apparently hiked it up over my panties. Way up. We tried to walk to our next classes as fast as we could, but we were laughing so much it was hard to get there. Because as I always say, when you’re humiliated you just have to laugh.
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Honey, you poor little thing. We have all had those “moments”. But you TRULY crack me up!
I had a pair of white Guess jeans that the zipper refused to stay up. And it seemed to happen at all the wrong times. Then my friends, because they love me dearly, happily named them my “horny” pants. Nice.
Don’t get much cuter – I don’t think I can take it!!!
Lots of love,
Lori
I had so much fun going to “prom” with you. I even still have the picture of us in the photo booth. I’m looking at it now…you have a v-neck t-shirt on (you always were too cool to go all prommed-out) and you have a cute little shoulder-length bob. I have on some hideous Indian-print wool vest (with pearls!)over an oversized white t-shirt and my hair would be mildly cute if it weren’t for the too-short, crooked bangs I’m sporting. We look like we’re having fun, so at least we have that going for us! We also look incredibly young. Sinfully young. So young I might have to go in the bathroom by myself, turn off the lights so I can’t see in the mirror, and scream bloody murder. Where exactly did the last 20 years go?
I’ll be your prom date anytime you need one,
Lisa
Lori, that is hilarious! Horny Pants… LOLOL
Lisa, I was looking for the picture, along with my Senior picture in “the dress”, but couldn’t find them. Seriously, who knows where they are in that garage? Can you send it to me? Maybe then I can add it to the post.
I remember we had so much fun. It was a great night! We looked so young that even at the time I thought, “Gosh, we look young.” 
haha!
Oh my gosh, I’m dying laughing. This is mortifying and hilarious. Thanks for sharing!
You crack me up!
I remember walking out to the parking lot for lunch once with my cool older sister when I was a dweeby underclassman (this is before I was a dweeby upperclassman), and we saw another cool upper classman girl with her skirt hiked up because of her backpack. We were far enough away that we could laugh so hard, but I don’t remember who it was. And I’m sure no one remembers that it was you in that LOOOONG hallway, either! =) And I never even heard about it, so it’s not like anyone went around telling everyone else about you and your cute dress. And thank goodness there was no such thing as camera phones back then! Wow. Think what THAT could do! Just a little FYI to make you feel better. =)
I’m just glad I’ve blocked out any embarrassing moments from my memory. I feel totally… I really can’t remmeber much. Where did highschool go??
I have heard from a couple other sad souls since I posted this of the same thing happening to them! That makes me feel better. At least I’m not the only panty show-er.
And I’m sure you’re right. I’m sure no one remembers it was me. *whew!* At least I’ll tell myself that to make me feel better. 
LOL
These stories are great… So funny! I’ve read this a couple times and every time I laugh so hard. Especially the computer lab part. I know I wasn’t in the lab at the time, but I feel like I was. I remember you telling me the story and can just hear the “spaaaaced” ringing in my ears. And I do remember the band-aide incident. That was awesome.